Stained Tears

Artist Unknown

Tears cascaded down my face

As I found myself further in this sunken place

Lost in the thoughts

Of a love long left behind

I hear your voice riddled with sadness

But still I could no longer stay in this madness

The heart wants what the heart wants

Unfortunately what my heart wants is not what my soul needs

Healing

Healing from the toxicity of the burning flame

inside the both of us

The flame that made the pain we created easily soothed from the passion that followed

The passion that slowly faded with the rising of the morning sun and we’ve left to ask each other

What have we become?

When did we become this couple that no longer basks in the love but look forward to the making up to numb the pain from the endless injection of love and hate?

Where do we go from here?

You afraid to answer the questions which leaves me forced to make the decision for both of us.

Silently packing my bags and creeping off into the darkness at the midnight hour.

Hoping one day you’ll forgive my cowardly exit, but thank me for release both of us from the torturous merry go round.

The merry go round that replays visions in my head of what could have been if only I had stayed,

But instead I have only wishful thinking and stained tears.

What are you thankful for?

Today I take the time to reflect and give thanks. In a world constantly focused on Covid and politics, it’s easy to not pay attention to the blessings that we have had or currently receiving. So I take the day to slow down and focus on all the good in my life. I’m surrounded by family and friends that love me for me, those same family and friends are healthy, plans to move forward with my writing and business are coming along nicely, and most importantly I’ve been blessed to see another day that could’ve easily been taken from me. So for all that I am grateful. I encourage everyone to take a moment out of the day and soak in the moment, reflect, and give thanks for your blessings.

One Last Time

Artist Unknown

As you place your lips on mine

Broken promises whisper in my head

Reciting the words I long to speak out loud

One last time

Those three words will shift the dynamic of our endless love affair

Those three words rejuvenate the strength that was depleted so long ago

Given freely to you during a time when I felt you were mine

A mistake on my part

For sharing a love that was simply ours on borrowed time

Time that ran out long ago when I went from number one to the other woman

A position I didn’t know existed until she made herself known

Revealing your true colors you tried desperately to camouflage with sweet nothings gently gracing my ears under the cover of late night meetings

Meetings that have now long ended but yet I’m still in attendance

Waiting on you to walk through the door with more of the love I desperately crave and despise at the same time

So much so that as you come in seeking the shelter from a stressful day with her

And you place your lips on mine

I find the voice I lost long ago and whisper

One last time

In Front Of The Fireplace

At the start of the hour

We find ourselves in my favorite spot

In front of the fireplace

With the glow highlighting your face

My third eye opens for you

Watching you with renewed interest

Longing for a sign that we are on the same page

Begging for your touch until finally you put me out of my misery

With the sweetest forehead kiss creating a trail down to my lips

Before becoming frozen in this moment of no turning back

Creating a mental note of the day that our lives changed

In front of the fireplace

Family

In my darkest times

I called out to you

Desperate for love and understanding

Seeking relief from this sinkhole

I just couldn’t climb out of

Begging to be set free from the Bermuda Triangle I found myself imprisoned in

And as the light faded

Encasing me in pure darkness

You answered, each and every one of you

Let your torches shine bright

Guiding me back to the path I strayed so far from

Filling me with the love I needed when I felt I had none

And giving me the strength to carry on

Though bonded by blood and life long commitments, your actions are what truly make us family.

Rebirth Of A Phoenix

As the weight of the world consumes me

And I lay quietly sinking into oblivion

A faint voice whispers in my ear,

“Who are you?

I have never met you before.

I’m sure I would remember you.

A child so lost and broken.

Where did you come from ?”

The voice continues as I sink deeper and deeper

Feeling my body consumed with fire and finally

Overtaken as my eyes close

Only to awaken anew

And to the voice I answer,

“I am a descendant of you.

No longer lost and broken.

I have risen from the ashes of the Phoenix.

Rejuvenated and Reborn.

Through The Valley Of Death

Through the valley of death

I have walked with many

But feared none

Filled with the purest light

My journey has just begun

A battle of wills that would make most fall

Falls victim to my resilience

I am the steel that sharpens the lions claws

Ready to defeat my enemies in a simple swipe

No matter the day

No matter the hour

As I walk through the valley of death

Where isfet roams and darkness devours

I walk with many

But fear none

Mental Breaks Are Necessary (Blog Post)

Sometimes we must take a break from our normal way of doing things. Especially for a clearer mind. I LOVE to write, but I never want it to feel like a chore or something I just dread doing. Sometimes a break is needed so that I can come back better than ever. For this break, I picked up painting and love it. I find myself getting better with each one and inspired to write as I create new ones. I might even start documenting my journey through my blog. Let me know in the comments what you think of my work! Many will be available on my Etsy shop soon.

Cheers To Chapter 32!

It is now midnight and before I close my eyes, I must give thanks to the universe for such a blessing. Many do not live to see the age I have made it to. I know that personally as a parent who has buried a child. To live to see another day, another year around the sun, another waking moment has me feeling if nothing else but grateful. As Covid has hit and knocked the world in a state of chaos, I have found motivation for many firsts. 2020 was my year of yes and branching out. I have become more consistent with showcasing my work not only on my blog, but also on Instagram, my work will be in not 1, but 2 online magazines, I have found a love for painting and getting pretty darn good at it, and I am preparing to launch a business with my husband. My support system has showed up and showed out with the love and I am eternally thankful for those. Many I have known for years and some just recently, but it goes to prove to me that there are good people in return that only want the best for you expecting nothing in return. Moving forward, it’s full steam ahead to finish out this year. I pray that the most high continue to find me worthy of this life I live and continue to rain blessings down as needed and not just off of wants. May universe and ancestors continue to guide me down my intended path and protect me from all that is meant to cause harm. I hope that I inspire may as others have inspired me on this journey I have been on and may my love and passion flow through my craft. Asé

Send Help

Artist Unknown

I still remember the day you walked out the door

After all this time it still haunts me

Bags packed in your right hand while turning your back to me

Telling me I have no choice but to set you free

Tears on the brim of my eyes refusing to fall

We might’ve both messed up, but I gave you my all

How is it you’re the one that gets to walk away

Leaving me to be surrounded by all the memories overshadowed by the present

Positive thoughts clouded with negative

Consuming every inch of my body

Weighing it down like a sedative

Until I no longer want to live

Convincing myself I have nothing left to give

So the scenarios of what if plays in my mind like the perfect illusion

Sending me in a constant state of confusion

Not understanding that sunshine awaits the breaking of a new day

Only seeing the pill bottle on the table that can end it all

A victim of my thoughts I become

Feeling pill after pill slide down my throat until the bottle is empty

Satisfaction takes over with a smile knowing soon nothing will be felt

Then the phone rings and I hear your frantic voice

Before darkness takes over I whisper

Send help….