8 years 28 days 88 minutes

Artist Unknown

8 years 28 days and 88 minutes

That’s how long it’s been since we’ve connected

You walked out the door and never came back

I tried to make excuses

Some reasonable explanation of why you walked away from everything

At night I spent hours crying

Wondering what I did to chase you away

Praying that you’d walk back in the next day

The next day turned into the next

And now here we are

Lost in translation

A figment of each other’s imagination

Only my imagination is filled with scenarios of how I got here

Wishing I could fill this void that you left

8 years 28 days and 88 minutes ago

I Thought

Artist Unknown

I thought we had a connection

A connection that no one understood

A connection only you and I could comprehend

Because we were the intended

On an alternate plane

Tattooed with a mixture

Of guns and roses

We created a love

Swirling in a pool of melanated bliss

You completed me

I completed you

Together we were one

Heartstrings laced together

Soul ties that became soul lies

Lies that flowed from your lips

Like the loose lips that sink ships

Ships that contain our love from that alternate plane

Now down at the bottom of the abyss

Never to be found and easy to miss

If only someone would tell my heart

The truth

My heart that finds it hard to get over you

Days and night filled with thoughts of what had been

Until I’m overcome with passionate rage

Turning my world like that ship that dwells in the dark murky waters of the ocean

Never to see the light of day again

I thought we had something real

I thought we had something only you and

I could comprehend

I thought we had a connection

I thought

When The Mask Comes Off

Photo Obtained from Pinterest. Artist is : Laurie Cooper

The façade has ended

The person you created is gone

The one I’m truly intended

To be has arrived

I gave you all of me

And you still couldn’t see

The damage done over time

Digging deep inside

I cried out for help

I begged you to stop

Let me be

And set me free

But like a bird you caged me

Determined not to let me sing

The trauma you inflicted

Has been evicted

I have found my voice

Now you must listen

As I unburden my truth

When the mask comes off

I Thought I Told You

I saw this photo in a writing group and it encouraged people to tell a story about the picture so here it goes…

I told you I didn’t love you,

At least I thought I did.

They say actions speak louder than words

And my actions SCREAMED at you.

We talked less, we touched less, and

Making love has become nonexistent.

I thought you understood what that meant.

You asked me why I didn’t say I was unhappy,

But how can you hear it when most of my time is spent next to him.

He gets the touches, he gets the talks, and when we make love it the most beautiful experience in the world.

Now I know all of this sounds like an excuse

Especially when I’ve been so vocal about my feelings

Truth is I’m a coward

Too scared of how deeply and quickly I fell in love with you

So now I’ve convinced myself that I really don’t love you

I’ve convinced myself that those actions screaming at you were my true feeling when in reality I’m just running

Please don’t blame yourself for any of this, you honestly did nothing wrong.

My way of loving was damaged long ago.

As I leave you for him take comfort in one thing

Just like I hurt you is how I’ll hurt him.

You Were My Downfall

As I lie here in the middle of the street,

My thoughts drift to you

I wonder what you’re doing, if you’re happy, and if 

you found someone to replace me

Replace me…..

That’s what you’ll be doing

Replacing me for someone to make new memories with

You’ll go on to live happily ever after,

But I won’t

For me, there is no one else

There is no more life

Soon a car will come up the street going too fast

The driver will be just leaving the bar and shouldn’t be behind the wheel

They won’t see me changing my mind and trying to get up

By then it will have been too late

And as I lie there in my final moments, my thoughts drift to you again

I pray that when you see this on the news you will finally think of me

I pray that you’ll be filled with visions of my face, my smile, and my smell

I pray that you have someone to comfort you through it all

And most importantly, I pray that you will know

You were my downfall

The Day You Left

Have you ever been paralyzed with so much pain that you thought you were dying?

Your heart constricts and blood flow decreases until you are no longer breathing

That’s how I felt when you left

Life was no longer worth living

No longer would I see the depth of the world in your eyes

No longer would my anxiety be at ease from seeing that dimple in your smile

My security blanket, also known as your arms wrapped around me was no longer available

And now I must learn to navigate this thing called life the same way I made my entrance into the world…..alone.