Self Love

Artist Unknown

Standing here now, I only have one thought in mind, “I am not who I once used to be.”

The reflection staring back in the mirror is strikingly different these many years later.

My rich chocolate skin is now a tad darker,

Processed hair now transitioned to locs,

Slim shape graduated to thick and curvy,

A complete sign of evolution.

Peeling off the layers of clothing like the layers of my past that I fought so hard to overcome is like a weight lifting to finally reveal what I have been waiting so long to see.

My naked truth.

A truth I had so long hidden with baggy clothes that gave me the ability to physically feel all the years of self doubt and hated that society inflicted on me internally.

Taking years and years of my life as I sat through therapy learning that I am not the problem.

But now I get.

Right here in this moment, in all my glory, I can smile.

And it is genuine.

Because I have overcame and silenced the noise of all those who don’t matter.

I have finally learned to love me.

Let’s Do Yoga!

In the closet, I’m obsessed with yoga. Meaning I totally love yoga, but haven’t worked up the nerve to follow all the way through with it. Many things have been the cause of that. Fear, anxiety, intimidation, just to name a few. Being plus size, I see all the images of the different yogi’s in the different poses and it just look so amazing….right? Wrong! Beause in my mind I’m screaming, “I CAN’T DO THAT! HOW IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO BEND LIKE THAT? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?” Then I politely roll up my mat and tell myself I’ll try again later.

But what if later never comes? What if that last time I rolled up my mat was actually my last chance to move forward in this journey. Let’s be honest, no one is promised another chance. We only have the right then and that moment. Anything else is just a blessing moving forward.

So now I’m challenging myself. It’s time to let go of the fears and negative thoughts. No longer will I walk in the ways that I feel will be more acceptable for my size. After all there is this gorgeous plus size woman by the name of Jessamyn Stanley that is awesome at yoga. Serious goals in my eyes. So dang it (yes I said dang it, I’m a country girl lol), I’m going to start back and stick with it! Nothing beats a fail, but a try and I’m not a failure so I have to try. Wish me luck!