When The Mask Comes Off

Photo Obtained from Pinterest. Artist is : Laurie Cooper

The façade has ended

The person you created is gone

The one I’m truly intended

To be has arrived

I gave you all of me

And you still couldn’t see

The damage done over time

Digging deep inside

I cried out for help

I begged you to stop

Let me be

And set me free

But like a bird you caged me

Determined not to let me sing

The trauma you inflicted

Has been evicted

I have found my voice

Now you must listen

As I unburden my truth

When the mask comes off

Submissive For Him

Artist Unknown

I stood in front of a melanated God,

One who seemed to debate every word that would come out my mouth.

If I said it was hot, he said it was cold.

If I said it was 12:01, he said it was past noon.

Every single thing was a debate.

I soon found he wanted to assert his dominance.

He was nothing like the men I had come across before.

My sharp tongue only fueled his desire to make me submit.

Submit to the inevitable,

One day he would rule my world and I would let him.

Me, the strong black woman that didn’t need to bow down to a man.

Those words I expressed to him one day,

The narrowing of his eyes showed his displeasure.

He then schooled me on the fact that submissive did not equate to weak.

Submissive in a woman was not being afraid to let the man lead and showing a man is nothing without his neck, his woman.

Submissive was accepting his vulnerable side the world was not privy to.

Submissive did not relinquish independence, it balanced the roles between two forces.

And submissive was not gender based,

For the right woman, the right man will submit when needed.

With that he won my heart,

Opened my mind to a new way of thinking.

The world will know my dominance,

But for him I will be submissive.

Simplicity

Riding down the boulevard

I reach over and hold your hand

It’s early,

So early it’s like we’re the only ones on the road

We take it all in

Crazy by India.Arie comes through the speakers

The soulful notes touches us deep within

No words are needed

Everything in this moment speaks for itself

The sky resembles a portrait come to life

With colors of red, pinks, and yellow

The sun slowly rises

Casting a light of simplicity

Of love everlasting

How Much I Love You

I want to tell the world how much I love you

I want them to know that from the moment I met you, I found the manifestation of love.

I want them to know that the rich color of your skin reminds me of the most premium cocoa

I want them to know that when you smile, that dimple on you left side of your cheek winks at me in a sexy way

I want them to know that just the touch of your hand makes me quiver down to the depths of my soul

So much so that when you hold me I wish you would never let go

I want them to know….

I need them to know….

To know that I can’t really describe how much I love you

There aren’t enough words to give an accurate description

I find myself looking at all I have written and it always seems like it is never enough

And then I fear that when the time comes like tonight, when I want to tell the world how much I love you

I’ll get stuck

Stuck to the point that the moment will be gone before I can even utter a single world

So right here, in this moment

As the spotlight is on us

I’ll look you in your eyes and simply say

I love you

Physical Touch

Most people associate physical touch as sexual.

It doesn’t have to be,

There’s levels to it.

Some levels we don’t experience until we find the right one.

My spirit knew I was ready when he entered my life.

His introduction was everything I needed. 

You should’ve seen how he’d stare into my eyes before tapping me on my right cheek producing a smile.

The way we’d walk down the street and he’d casually bump into me to throw me off balance.

In the midst of a deep conversation or for no reason at all,

He would hold my hand and a calmness would come over me.

My heart melted into a pool of bliss each time he’d wrap me in his arms,

And just hold me for hours saying nothing. 

No words were needed,

The comfort of being secure in his arms was enough.

In my moments with him, I received what I needed from physical touch.

1932 Love

Savoy Ballroom in Harlem

You gave me that 1932 love

That love that brought you to my house and you asked my mother and fathers permission to court me

That love where you dressed up in your finest threads

I dressed up in my best dress that came just below the knee to give the right amount of modesty

Then we cruised down the street in your fancy car

I’d look over at you and you’d glance at me,

Both caught up in promises of forever

Making it to our destination, the soulful rhythm hitting our ears just outside the door

Guiding us to the middle of the dance floor,

Just stomping at the Savoy.

Oh did we swing the night away

That night led to many other nights

We would be like our parents

Having that love that wasn’t afraid to be put on display

Seeing them sneak kisses in the kitchen, mama blushing from daddy’s compliment,

And that united front they had.

They were the blueprint for us leading up to this day

Seeing you unapologetically cry as I walk down the aisle on daddy’s arm.

My God, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than that moment.

That moment will forever be embedded in my memory

For that moment was the deepest display of love you have shown for me.

Your gratitude of being blessed with a love like ours.

A love many will seek

That 1932 love.

The Day You Left

Have you ever been paralyzed with so much pain that you thought you were dying?

Your heart constricts and blood flow decreases until you are no longer breathing

That’s how I felt when you left

Life was no longer worth living

No longer would I see the depth of the world in your eyes

No longer would my anxiety be at ease from seeing that dimple in your smile

My security blanket, also known as your arms wrapped around me was no longer available

And now I must learn to navigate this thing called life the same way I made my entrance into the world…..alone.

Last Night We Danced

Last night we danced and it was magical.

You walked in the room and there was no one else but us.

Nothing extravagant, just an ordinary room where you and I were the only two people in the world.

It started slow with us looking into each other’s eyes and then transitioned into a cozy two step as we teased each other with rhythm.

The music changed and we waltz from one corner to the next before moving into a tango.

That tango meant more than we both could ever imagine.

It was during that moment our feelings were on display.

Eyes connecting, body’s moving, and hearts intertwining to the language of love.

Last night we danced and it was magical.

The Feeling of Love

I wanna know love,

I wanna know everything there is to know about that warm fuzzy feeling inside.

I wanna know the feeling of your skin brushing against my arm and the softness of your lips pressed against mine.

Our heartbeats in sync like the best drummers on the drum line as the majorettes dance in the depths of our souls.

I wanna know the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Those moments are what’s going to help define us.

Our story will be greater than any story ever told.

Our children and their children will talk about it for years as the blueprint to what love is.

They’ll talk about how we weathered the storm and went on to live a life of pure happiness.

How you used to hold my hand and tell me to smile because it can’t rain all the time.

How you used to get me so angry only to fill me with laughter until I forget why I was angry.

How we bought our dream house and sat on the porch at sunset drinking tea while the grandchildren played in the front yard.

And most importantly, how when I closed my eyes for the last time, your kiss was the last to touch my lips before you joined me.

And our love, even in transition shook the heavens to announce our arrival.

I Want To Walk In The Rain

I want to walk in the rain. Feel the cool water hit me, as I release all the worries of the days before. I want to let go and not have a care in the world. In that moment I will be free to be myself in the purest form possible.

I want to walk down the streets unnoticed by all. I’d smell the flowers that are for sale at the little flower shop on the corner, see all the delicious pastries in the display window outside of the bakery that has the best chocolate cake, and see all the people that should slow down to take in the moment as well. My heart aches for the joy they are missing out on.

As the rain pours over me, the ache decreases and I watch my favorite couple. The older gentleman that looks to be no more than 50, but is really in his 70’s. He’s holding the umbrella for his wife who just happens to be his high school sweetheart. They walk unhurriedly up the street for their weekly date at the bistro he proposed at all those years ago. Once again my heart is filled with love. So much love that I stand there and smile. 

Caught in my moment, I miss my name being called. Your touch on my shoulder brings me back to reality. The smile on your face says that you already knew I’d be soak and wet by the time you got to me. You learned years ago my love of the rain and walking in it. You started heading this way once the ran started because you knew where to find me. Out of your bag, you produce a towel for me to dry off some and pull me in the crook of your arm ignoring my wet clothes. We walk home under the umbrella just like the old couple and my spirit is content.

Today I walked in the rain and in the rain I found peace…