Blog: Justice For Elijah McClain

Elijah McClain’s last words to officers

Who is Elijah McClain?

Elijah McClain

Elijah McClain was a 23 year old massage therapist. Everything I have read about him screams gentle. On his lunch break he would play the violin for the kittens in the pet shop next door. He ran in barefoot running shoes because he felt it was more natural. Many of the runners I’ve spoken with in the past have voiced similar things. He was anemic and could be found even in the summer time wear layers of clothes and a runners mask due to being cold. That I can also find true because I have a son that’s anemic. He taught himself how to play the guitar and violin. HE TAUGHT HIMSELF! So what could he have done that would’ve been so wrong to cause him death?

Summary of what I’ve read about his death…

Police received a call about a person acting suspicious flailing their arms and wearing a ski mask. The caller also reported that he didn’t appear to be a threat and did seem to have a weapon. So basically an unnecessary welfare check? How did that in turn lead to his death?

When officers arrived, orders to stop were not responded to. Why was that? Because he was wearing headphones! He couldn’t possibly comply if he did not hear the orders. Once he did notice and proceeded to turn down his music to hear, it was too late. The feeling of “disrespect” had already been planted. Now a need for authority had to be shown.

For 15 MINUTES the officers had him in a hold that applied pressure to his carotid artery. For 15 MINUTES he begged, pleaded, and even complimented the officers. All to no avail. They still applied pressure to the point he began to vomit. Then EMT’s gave him a shot of ketamine (sedative) because he was determined to be “agitated”. Who wouldn’t be? Then to make matters worse, the dose he was given was for a 220 LB. man. Elijah weighed 140 lbs. This lead to him going into cardiac arrest not once, but twice before later being declared brain dead.

Final Thoughts

I am sadden, I am heartbroken, and I have shed tears for this young man that did not deserve what has happened to him. I’ve seen pictures and watched the video where he was filled with happiness while indeed wearing layers of clothing as friends and family described. I also can’t help but to wonder again, how many others we still have not heard about. Especially when Elijahs life was taken almost a year ago and we are just now hearing about it. WE NEED JUSTICE FOR ELIJAH NOW!

Daughter To Mother

Photo obtained from Pinterest. Artist Unknown

Can I talk to you for a minute?

I mean really talk to you.

And for once just listen.

Listen to the words as they flow from my lips.

Hold them to the highest priority like an alter to the ancestors.

May they bless our bond after this moment.

A moment that is a long time coming.

There is so much I have wanted to say to you.

I’m sorry life has not always been kind to your feelings.

I’m sorry it made you shut off your love from the world.

As a child I needed that.

I needed it badly, but you could not give it.

At least, not in the way that I needed.

For a while I was angry.

I wondered if I was just unlovable. Now that I know it wasn’t my fault, I forgive you.

I forgive him too.

The man that hurt you.

My father.

You both knew no better,

And in order to heal

I have to let go.

Let go of the doubt and self destruction.

Now I am happy.

Happy that I can say the things and feel the things I never felt.

My children are happy as well.

They deserve that.

Happiness.

Love.

As my mother, you do too.

But you continue to reject it.

That’s okay.

If no one ever tells you or you continue to

Harden your shell.

Just know that how I felt back then

Is how I feel now.

I love you….

It’s Okay To Take Time Off For Yourself

I’ve always thought that I did well with self care. This past week helped me realize that I didn’t. Over the process of dealing with everyday life, I stopped meditating, stopped listening to my relaxing music, stopped my yoga journey, and just completely forgot about myself. So, as I stated in a previous post, all of this over time has led to high blood pressure, anxiety, lack of energy, and although I post a lot; a struggle with writing. Not to mention everything going on in the world with my brothers and sisters is heartbreaking .

I battle with myself about what things I should blog about. I know that if I tackle certain topics right now my anger may overshadow my writing. I don’t want to disrupt the message. In some ways I feel as if I’m giving in to certain people by not releasing my anger. Sometimes that’s needed to be seen, but in order to do that I also need balance. This is where self care comes in. It helps me to clear my mind.

With that being said, I’m taking a self care week. A week to get back to me. I’m hoping by the end of the week I’ll be able to get back in the saddle and be ready to unleash a number of topics on the world in an unfiltered way that I like. I also want to release more creative writing through the form of poems, short stories, and whatever else pops up in this crazy mind of mine.

My Plans

In my quest for relaxation I have a number of things planned:

1. SLEEP (I have crazy insomnia)

2. Meditate

3. Work in my garden. Y’all my garden is still struggling. So much for having a garden like my grandmother’s lol.

4. Spend time with my children.

5. Have a date night with my husband. Pray for me. There is a certain princess that feels she must be included when it comes to her father <inserts eye roll>.

6. Catch up on some reading.

As with everything, plans are subject to change. If that happens then so be it, but I’m going in with a plan. Wish me luck!

Adjust Your Crown

Relax queen

Kick up your feet

The days been rough

And your soul is beat

Release the worries

Plaguing your mind

Leave the negative all behind

They tried to defeat you

Tried to make you give up

They didn’t know like I know

You’re never down on your luck

In this space you are welcome

Full of others just like you

There is strength in numbers

Sista we got you

So when it gets too much

And your head drops down

We’ll help you pick it up

Help you adjust your crown

Called Out To You

I called out to you

Just before midnight

In the middle of a empty street

Highlighted by the glow of the streetlights

I prayed you’d hear me

I held my breath for a reply

None came

Heartbroken I turned to go home

Tears soaked my face

The same face I felt a hand touch

Warm love filled my veins

The deep timbre of your voice whispers

Physically I am gone,

But I’ll love you always

Submissive For Him

Artist Unknown

I stood in front of a melanated God,

One who seemed to debate every word that would come out my mouth.

If I said it was hot, he said it was cold.

If I said it was 12:01, he said it was past noon.

Every single thing was a debate.

I soon found he wanted to assert his dominance.

He was nothing like the men I had come across before.

My sharp tongue only fueled his desire to make me submit.

Submit to the inevitable,

One day he would rule my world and I would let him.

Me, the strong black woman that didn’t need to bow down to a man.

Those words I expressed to him one day,

The narrowing of his eyes showed his displeasure.

He then schooled me on the fact that submissive did not equate to weak.

Submissive in a woman was not being afraid to let the man lead and showing a man is nothing without his neck, his woman.

Submissive was accepting his vulnerable side the world was not privy to.

Submissive did not relinquish independence, it balanced the roles between two forces.

And submissive was not gender based,

For the right woman, the right man will submit when needed.

With that he won my heart,

Opened my mind to a new way of thinking.

The world will know my dominance,

But for him I will be submissive.

Beauty Unveiled

Another writing prompt

She walks into the room with style and grace

Encased in a dress of sensual black velvet

I’m ensnared by the beauty of her

She is surrounded by an aura that puts me at ease

While her red nails send me in a spiral of burning desire

I need to be close to her

Even if it’s only for a second

Finally, My wish is granted

She stopped in front of me and smiled

The moment will forever be embedded in my mind

That smile was the unveiling of the rarest crystal flower and the surrender of my heart.

How Much I Love You

I want to tell the world how much I love you

I want them to know that from the moment I met you, I found the manifestation of love.

I want them to know that the rich color of your skin reminds me of the most premium cocoa

I want them to know that when you smile, that dimple on you left side of your cheek winks at me in a sexy way

I want them to know that just the touch of your hand makes me quiver down to the depths of my soul

So much so that when you hold me I wish you would never let go

I want them to know….

I need them to know….

To know that I can’t really describe how much I love you

There aren’t enough words to give an accurate description

I find myself looking at all I have written and it always seems like it is never enough

And then I fear that when the time comes like tonight, when I want to tell the world how much I love you

I’ll get stuck

Stuck to the point that the moment will be gone before I can even utter a single world

So right here, in this moment

As the spotlight is on us

I’ll look you in your eyes and simply say

I love you

It’s Already Been Buried

Standing up, I wipe my brow after throwing the last dirt on the grave

It’s done

It should have been done long ago, but

At last, it is done

The best part is, no one knows the grave is here

Should someone find it, surely they’ll have no idea who buried it here

They’ll probably be thankful that someone did it

Going to my car I laugh with glee

The world will now be free

I go to the busiest street and park needing to feel this new world

Out of my car and smack dab in the middle of it

Smack dab in the middle of the same chaos I just buried

How could this be!

It was supposed to end!

It’s still the same!

Countless brown skinned men and women on the ground

Their cries fill the air until I cover my ears

I yell as loud as I can, “I BURIED YOU!”

America yelled back, “YOU CAN’T BURY WHATS BEEN PLANTED IN THE MINDS HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO!”

Sitting on the ground I watch it all continue to play out

So what America is telling me is that even though I tried the bury racism it’s too late because it’s already been done.

The seeds were planted deeply so long ago in the minds and it’s roots are now stronger and it’s branches are even longer

Reaching the minds of the unsuspecting and innocent until it creates the intended divide

The realization hits me so powerfully that I grab my head and shout to all that can hear, “WHEN DOES IT END?”